Is Honesty Always The Best Policy?

Aug 25, 2015From Lisa's Lips15 comments

Is there such a thing as being too honest?

There seems to be a very tricky fine line between being truthful and perhaps being too honest where you end up hurting someone because of the truth. I think about this a lot and find myself in this situation often because I want to be as honest as possible, but I know it has the potential of hurting the person.

I am usually very comfortable being open and honest. I think you have to reveal yourself and be transparent in order to have a deep, meaningful relationship with someone. Particularly if you find yourself in a situation doing or saying things that you know you’ll need to own at a later time.

This same thought process leads me to another question about being too honest. At what point does it become more about the need for the truth teller to come clean? Where does this good intention of being completely open and honest about your participation in a situation turn into more of a confessional?

Like I mentioned, it’s a fine line and a tricky tightrope I find myself walking often. I always want to be as open, upfront and honest as possible. If there are whispers about someone I care for and I find myself engaging in conversation about them, I always need to go directly to the source to eliminate feeding more rumors. I would also like my family and friends to do the same with me.

My intentions with my honesty come from a good place but I sometimes question my unspoken motto of, ‘The truth and nothing but the truth so help me God…’ because the last thing I want is to hurt anyones feelings.

So, I ask you, my readers, how honest is too honest?



  1. Delilla Blanton

    You can never be to honest believe me… That is the best policy….

    • Debbie

      It’s always best to be honest, but I was honest with my best friend and she wasn’t happy with my honesty, so we don’t talk anymore and that’s sad!

  2. Melissa

    Lets ask the people involved in the Ashley Madison scandal about honesty. Idiots. Lol! I am with you…honesty is best. There is always a kinder, gentler way to speak the truth, especially when it comes from the heart and a place of love.

  3. Carolyn

    In most cases honesty is the best policy. However, I think you have to ask yourself what your motive is by telling the truth. I think some people hide behind “telling the truth” just to be hurtful. I also believe that you can’t worry about what other people are saying. Ask yourself if it’s something you can control (the people talking). If it’s not, let it go…the truth always comes out in the end. Hope this helps! Rock on, GF!

  4. Sybil Golin

    I am always brutally honest. I can’t help it but boy does it get me in trouble sometimes. I am constantly trying to find a happy balance between speaking my mind and keeping my fucking mouth shut. #lifelongstruggle

  5. Sarzu

    No, I believe it’s always better to be honest. Some people can’t handle it, but I say it’s their problem. Usually these people are also honest, but others are not allowed to.
    Btw, I just love the way you are, please stay that way (regards from Finland) 🙂

  6. housewivesfan

    i think if you’re close with someone & they know you have their best interest at heart then honesty is the best way to go. but if it’s someone you’re not that close with or a co-worker or someone i’d be careful. unless their life is in danger like kim’s was.. that situation i think you had every right to say something.

  7. Mike

    While Honesty is the best policy in every relationship. Some people have learned to use a persons honesty against the honest individual. Being honest can get you used, and taken for granted. The saying “No good Deed goes undone” is simply not true in our society any longer. Being dishonest is an acceptable act in our society today. Mainly in Corporate America, and in our Government. From there it trickles down into the rest of society affecting the entire world.

  8. Fred

    Not an easy answer as “honesty” in dealing with situations and opinions are usually based on one’s personal value standards. What may be rude, etc to one person may be normal to another.
    Honesty, as in “I dropped the glass and broke it” is based on fact and easier to define.
    Just saying.

  9. LondonGirl

    Yes, you can be too honest. Like they said in Interstellar, 90% honesty when dealing with emotional beings. Don’t ever gossip or talk behind people’s backs (friend or otherwise). Always own the mistakes you’ve made without necessarily dragging other people into it that don’t want to come clean and be honest to and about yourself. Everything else, use discretion and think about the bigger picture of why you feel the need to be honest, who are you potentially hurting and why.

  10. ali

    10 years ago I would have said yes yes yes. But after causing pain for no reason other than my high standards, my answer is “usually”. Now I moderate things more and seek the most gentle loving truth I can find. And when I must cause pain it has to be truly worth it.

  11. angie

    To me there is no such thing as being “too honest” if someone asks you to be. If you really don’t want to know the truth then why ask? However I try not to be brutally honest if I am interjecting my own opinion to someone face to face. I never intend to hurt anyone on purpose. It is was it is.

  12. Annette

    I am always honest, however I don’t always “share” unless asked and then I choose my words carefully. I never want to hurt someone, and after all it’s only my opinion. Mostly people really don’t want a True answer.

  13. Susan

    The wisest policy to follow is to follow the lead of the person you’re having the conversation with. If they ask for an opinion reply honestly but kindly. If they want an explanation, short and sweet honesty and refrain from long stories. Too much information is worse than the most critical honesty!

  14. Rena

    No such thing as “too” honest….some people just can’t HANDLE truth! The truth can always be spoken with tact, respect, care, & love. Problems lie not in WHAT we say, but HOW we say it.

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